


Taking Flight

by JustCuzMe



Series: Finding Home [1]
Category: One Piece
Genre: Ace is not going to appear any time soon, And possibly other stuff to come, Basically everyone that's a marine, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, MC is a Marine, OFC - Freeform, Original Akuma no Mi | Devil Fruit, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Portgas D. Ace Lives, Rated teen for swearing, Rival Relationship, Self-Insert, Slow Burn, Tragedy, You're never going to expect it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 21:47:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26315926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustCuzMe/pseuds/JustCuzMe
Summary: This sucks.Dying sucks. This whole situation sucks.Important things need to be said three times.The sky is blue, the oceans are deep, and I want to hit my head against a wall.Is there anything that can redeem this? (Yes there is.)
Relationships: Akainu | Sakazuki & Original Character(s), Monkey D. Garp & Original Character(s), Monkey D. Luffy & Original Female Character(s), Original Female Character(s) & Original Male Character(s), Portgas D. Ace/Original Female Character(s), Sabo & Original Female Character(s), Smoker & Original Female Character(s), Tashigi & Original Female Character(s)
Series: Finding Home [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1912117
Comments: 5
Kudos: 77





	1. Prologue

This sucks.

Dying sucks. This whole situation sucks.

Important things need to be said three times.

The sky is blue, the oceans are deep, and I want to hit my head against a wall.

“Human, did your mortal brain process what I just explained? Or would you like to listen to the explanation again?” A floating orb of light spoke.

Yes, I said it. A FLOATING ORB OF FRICKIN LIGHT.

I may or may not be slightly hysterical at this moment.

“Ahem, very well.” The orb somehow cleared its throat, “I shall explain it once again-”

“Okay okay, just shut up for a second.” I interrupted without caring about how it might have been rude. “You’re saying that since I died when I wasn’t meant to, now I can’t return to my world? Even as a soul to go through the reincarnation process?”

The orb swayed about hesitantly, “I suppose you could put it that way, even though you left out a large part of all the technicalities and such. Essentially, since a mortal is always meant to follow a predestined fate chosen for them the second they are born, rarely do they deviate from them. You are like a drop of water in a river that is meant to return to the sea and continue the cycle of water. We call this cycle the Natural Flow.”

“However, once in a few centuries something causes a human to change from their predestined fate.” The orb fluttered and continued to sway left and right, never stopping in one place too long. “You could compare it to taking that drop of water and throwing it into space. It has no way of returning back to the ocean and reentering the natural flow of the world without any outside force interacting with it.”

The orb stilled, “This drop of water is now knocked out of the natural flow.”

A heavy silence filled the atmosphere.

I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding. 

“Okay, I’m not stupid. I know that right now I’m like that drop of water. However, why is it that you, an ‘outside force’, can’t reintroduce this drop of water to the ocean?”

The orb resumed its swaying, “It is simply because we cannot and are not allowed to. You can say that this is where that analogy ends. Though I compared myself to an outside force, it is more like I am a part of the force that oversees and rules this universe. We have rules as well as regulations placed upon us that we cannot break and must follow. In addition, even though you were once considered part of the natural flow of this world, once you left it, the world no longer considered you part of it and would reject you. Even if you somehow convinced me to return you to your world’s natural flow, once it senses you forcefully trying to reenter it, it will view you as a threat and obliterate your soul.”

“Ughhhh”, Groaning, I closed my eyes and let my head fall onto my hands. “So now, I have no way to go back to earth, to contact my family, to continue my life and everything in between. Am I just going to be stuck here for eternity?”

Fuck, fuck, fuck. There's got to be a way around this, there has to be a way... 

Glancing up, I looked through the cracks between my fingers. All around me was a pitch black nothingness save for the floating orb of light. I myself currently look like a faded version of before I died. Wispy trails of something that was almost like smoke left my body in waves, and although we are here chatting like we have all the time in the world, I could tell that I was becoming less and less solid by the minute.

Gathering up my courage, I straightened up and fixed my gaze on the orb that was still swaying.

“You must have a way to fix this, or at least something you can do.” My eyes narrowed in suspicion. “If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have bothered saying all those things to me and explaining what happened.”

The orb’s swaying suddenly gained speed, as if excited. “Exactly! Clever mortal that you are, you understood everything in just one telling! Heavens know I had to repeat it a dozen times the last time something like this happened.”

Unable to control myself, I silently preened at the compliment. It's the Asian Parents conditioning in me, I swear.

“As you may know, situations such as these are very rare.” The orb’s swaying started going all over the place, no longer stuck to being linear, “I’ve long lost count of how long ago the previous mortal that fell out of the flow was here, and therefore, as the only one my brothers and sisters entrusted to carry out a task as noble as this… I am very bored.”

… What?

The orb started vibrating as the speed in which it swayed once again increased.

“It’s terribly boring here, as you can see, there is nothing but darkness. Even though I would not go insane like humans, I can still see the appeal behind my brothers and sisters’ occasional antics in your world.”

… What?

“Anyways, while I was waiting for a new soul to wander out of the flow, I devised a plan that would both entertain me for a while and be the solution you need for your horrible crisis.”

… What?

“Basically, since you can never return to your own world’s flow, I will simply introduce you to another! Do not fret, it will be entirely painless and be over before you know it! It would almost be like starting your life from scratch, the very second you were born!” By now, the swaying was so fast all I could see were afterimages. “Of course, as compensation, an agent that works for me will monitor your life and you would have the opportunity to contact them once every decade-”

“Wait wait wait,” Not caring that I once again interrupted it, I continued. “There were so many things wrong with what I just heard. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WILL PUT ME IN ANOTHER WORLD?? Doesn’t that just go against everything that you previously said? If you can put me into a different world, why not just return me directly back to mine? Painless? Over before you know it? It doesn’t make me feel reassured at all! Compensation? Does this mean that this isn’t what you usually do with other people that come here? Explain clearly without sounding like you’re trying to con me!”

The orb faltered, “Ah… I suppose you are right. I was just so overjoyed at this opportunity, I thought you would be too. Afterall, I personally think that this is much better than the alternative.”

“What… is this so called alternative?”

“How I usually deal with cases like yours.”

“And how do you usually deal with them…?”

“Leave them here until their souls dissipate and turn into fuel for the universe to continue functioning.”

“... You’re not giving me much of a choice.”

“Am I? Still, the choice is yours. You can go to a new world or return back to this one… more intimately.”

I sighed, “You… nevermind, I choose to go to the new world, but first I have a few conditions.”

The orb swayed curiously, “You do not have any more questions? Like how this is going to work or the like?”

I sighed again while rubbing my temple, “Questions at this point are useless, what I need right now are guarantees. Though I still don’t trust you, I don’t seem to have a choice.”

“You do.”

“Again, it’s not much of one.”

“Hmmm, very well. You can have only one and it cannot have a direct impact on who you are going to be, the environment around you, and the world as a whole.”

I fell silent for a moment.

“Can I have my memories intact? I want to be able to remember everything perfectly, from the day I was born to the day I died. However, I want you to take away all the emotions attached to the memories.” I finally decided after a long time of contemplation.

The orb continued to sway, but this time with a tinge of thoughtfulness.

“It doesn’t have a direct impact on all those things you previously listed, it technically counts.” 

“Very well,” The orb said after some time, “I shall grant your wish. Though may I ask, why is it that you wanted to erase your emotions? Even though you will be able to remember your memories, you will never be able to remember the feeling of joy when you're laughing with your friends or spending time with your family or-”

“I know all of that,” I closed my eyes in anguish, “I know that I will never remember the feelings of safety I feel in my room or the reluctant anger I have towards my parents as well as the adrenaline of an intense gaming session.”

“Then why-”

“It’s because I’m too attached, too attached to my life in this world that everything will be infinitely harder in my new one. Forming new relationships, integrating into a new life with new parents, friends, family, enemies, and everything else. If I really want to start a new, happy life. I need to leave my old one behind.” I continued hesitantly, ashamed. "I suppose if I actually wanted a new like, I would leave it all behind, including my memories, but I'm too much of a coward. Would I still be the same person if I lost everything about myself? I don't think so.

“... Hmmm, interesting. Well then, anything else you want to say or do before you leave?” The orb swayed with satisfaction.

I shook my head, “No, I can’t do the things I want anyways so might as well move on quickly.”

The orb swayed vigorously after the confirmation, “Very well, then off you go! Do enjoy your new life and do not get knocked out of the flow this time!”

I immediately felt a pull originating from behind me, slowly increasing in strength. I suddenly started panicking, but what’s done is done and I can’t do much about it…

“Ummm, hey, orb?”

The orb sputtered, “Orb?!”

Ignoring it, just as the edges of my vision started to turn hazy I rushed out my question: “What you said before, about it being painless and all. Does that still apply??”

Still speechless from moments before, the orb swayed with frustration, “Of course it does! I’ll have you know that I am one of the most honest of all my 10065 siblings!”

Just as I lost consciousness, I swear I could hear it muttering, “Me, an orb? Preposterous! I am not an orb!”

Everything went quiet.

\-------------------------------------------------------

Extra: A few months later...

As I gazed up at the planets that dangled over my head from a toy, I was suddenly reminded of that floating orb that was the cause of all this nonsense in the first place…

I had no idea how it did it and how it was even possible, but...

It was surprisingly expressive for being just an orb.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's my birthday! Yay!


	2. A New Life, A New Beginning

The first thing I could feel after what felt like a long sleep was squeezing.

Well, that can’t quite sum up the feeling either. It was more like a mix of squeezing, pushing, slipping, and overall just a sensation that was very, very uncomfortable.

After being pushed like this for an unknown amount of time, I finally felt the first brush of cold air against the top of my head. As more time went on, this cold gradually came to envelope my head and slowly progressed down until my entire body was now exposed to the air. I sucked in my very first breath of air in this new world... and quickly used it to scream at the top of my newborn lungs.

What? Uncomfortableness plus baby levels of self control (which were none) equals wailing my eyes out.

I must have just been born. Yes, that must have been it. I’ll have you know that being pushed out of your mother’s womb while fully conscious is a very traumatic experience. Like, thank you for giving birth to me but let’s never do that again. Thank god I don’t remember the time I was born in my previous life…

Shit.

As I cried, I was quickly wrapped up in a very soft blanket and delivered to what I suspect to be my new mother’s arms. There were voices that conversed above me that came from a woman and a man, perhaps he was my father and the others belonged to a doctor or mother? From what little information I could gain from listening to the conversation around me and my very poor vision, the language here seems to be at least part English. There’s a little something else to it that I’m tempted to say sounds like Japanese, but I’m not certain.

Just as I stopped crying and started falling asleep from exhaustion, I felt a large hand caress my head. The skin was coarse with callouses and the force behind it felt clumsy, but it was very warm and imparted to me a sense of safety. A deep voice cooed at me, and though I could not understand him, I instinctively felt a tendril of happiness slip into my heart.

Smiling, I closed my eyes and quickly lost consciousness under the ministrations of my new father and in the embrace of my new mother.

I wonder what this new world is like.

……………………………………………

It’s been a little over a week since my birth.

If I had to rank all my traumatic experiences, dying would be first while being born is a close second. Right after that however, is being breastfed, burped, and having your diapers changed.

Though it isn’t much when compared to death (and even though I can’t quite remember the trauma attached to it, I liked to think that it’s an experience I can say I’ve got under my belt). The sheer humiliation and number of times I had to suffer through it is enough to rank it over forgetting the latter half of a piano piece I had to memorize during an exam.

Like, previously I was just a normal if a tad bit conservative fourteen year old that likes to read anything and everything in all existence. I imagine that as the months go on, I would get used to it, but for now…

Yeah, not so much.

I was dragged back to the present when two delicate hands patted my freshly cleaned behind and lifted me up into their embrace. As I was carried back to my crib, I ran over what new information I’ve gathered from the few days I’ve been here. 

1: From what I could feel, or more like what I can’t feel, I could tell that I still remained a female this round. 

2: The language appears to be part English, part Japanese, and something else. Though I think the grammar still follows a similar structure to English. (Lucky!)

Exhibit A: My father who just came to my crib to baby me.

“Who’s XXXXXXXXX? Hannah is!”

From the sentence structure and context, I can guess that what he’s most likely saying is something along the lines of ‘Who’s the best baby? Hannah is!’. I can then substitute the English for what he just said and place a tentative definition for a few words. Afterwards, I can continue making adjustments to these definitions as they are used in different contexts, effectively expanding my vocabulary.

What? It never hurts to start early, especially for language.

3: My new name is Hannah.

It doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out when the first time I started screaming to get my diaper changed, my father slammed the door open and yelled out a distressed: “Hannah! XXXX-”

I would like to say that the reason my father got cut off was because mom slapped him to make him shut up. Yes, mom, not mother. I decided that she’s super cool after that happened. God knows how hard I prayed to have cool parents the last time around.

Though I miss my old name, since I don’t remember the sentiment it had carried with it, I will gladly adopt this new name.

4: I don’t appear to have any siblings even though I can occasionally hear the voices and footsteps of children pounding down the area outside of our living space. Perhaps the place we live in hosts multiple families? 

Unfortunately, due to my legally blind vision, I can’t gather any information that’s solely based on that sense. Examples would be the appearances of my parents, the size of this room, and many more.

Huffing, I absentmindedly made to grab at the large hand that was once again clumsily patting my head but failed miserably. The hand continued to pat me and I slowly started getting drowsy again. I was never one to complain about more sleep, especially when it was just a natural thing a baby needs to grow up healthy, so I don’t really understand the pain of others when they grumbled about how much a baby sleeps. My father was talking about something over my crib, but I couldn’t understand half of what’s being said so I just gave up.

Just as I was falling back asleep, I was startled awake by my mom lifting me up again. Quickly realising that we were leaving the room, I perked up as much as I could with my body steadily growing sleepy yet again. Other than the time I was born, I haven’t been outside yet and I was excited about the possible information I could gather regarding this new world.

Soon, me and my parents left our living space and headed down what I think was a hallway due to the lack of turns. The floor sounded like it was made of wood and not carpet. Unfortunately, before I could gather more information we had already reached our destination and I heard father knock on a door.

I couldn’t see who opened the door, but a woman’s voice called out from the other side. My father answered back and we were immediately ushered inside by the woman. As soon as we entered, I heard the voice of another man and soon he also joined into the ongoing conversation. Perhaps they are husband and wife?

From the excited voices and congratulatory tones of all the adults around me, I could guess some sort of reunion was happening. Most likely, our families are familiar and on good terms with each other if my parents specifically left our home to let them meet their newborn baby.

Sadly, that was all the information I could process before something entirely different took my attention away. Mainly, the other couple molesting me with their eyes and softly touching my cheeks. It was almost like they were marveling and admiring me.

What, never seen a baby before?

Just as I was once again turning sleepy from their manhandling, the woman that was currently fiddling with my meaty hands said something that caused both my parents and the other man in the room to fall into contemplation.

Quickly reaching a decision, before I could even catch up with this sudden turn of events I was swiftly swiped from my mom’s arms and transported into another room. How the quick relocation didn’t cause my delicate neck to feel uncomfortable, I don’t even know.

I was carefully lowered onto what felt like a bed or crib. Waving around my flailing limbs to see if I could hit anything, I was surprised to find that I could hit both something as well as someone. While my left hand hit the bars of a crib, my right foot kicked something that could only be described as soft, squishy meat. A high pitched, shrill shriek immediately rang out afterwards.

Oops…

I guess since they saw me slowly falling asleep, they had wanted to leave me in the crib that was already occupied by their own child. Though I also think they had wanted to see their cute children sleeping together as an added bonus. From their perspective, they could never have predicted the silent and obedient infant that was just staying still would suddenly be so energetic.

As my parents quickly lifted me from the crib and the other couple scrambled to settle the baby down, I silently apologized in my heart.

Before the situation could descend further into chaos, my parents bid a quick farewell to the other couple before leaving and returning back to our own home. After getting into bed and placing me between them, father cooed at me while my mom rocked me in her embrace.

I remained confused for a while before suddenly understanding that they thought I was scared silent. I secretly smiled in my heart, my parents are pretty cute.

Suddenly, my parents stopped what they were doing and stared at me. Father then started sounding really excited and happy while mom rubbed my hand. I was even more confused after this.

At that time, I had not known that I had given them my first smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo, sorry for the pretty late update. School started and added to my sudden obsession with the Halo franchise led to me being very distracted lately. So, sorry.
> 
> This has nothing to do with the fanfic, but I just want to say that Halo OSTs are very good. Especially Halo 3: ODST and Halo CE stuff. Pity I'm suck at gaming or else I would have bought one.


	3. Bastard

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not updating in so long! Kind of got preoccupied with school and finally being able to be with FRIENDS.

Out of nowhere, I abruptly realised I’ve already spent a month in this new world.

It’s a fact that suddenly sprouted into my mind when I woke from my nap today and now that I think about it, the concept is a little unreal. I mean, does this technically answer the question of if there is life after death?

My first milestone, I guess.

Ever since my parents first brought me outside to meet their friends, they seemed to have lost all the initial hesitation they showed and now my family visits theirs at least three times per week. Plus, that doesn’t even count the times when they visit us instead. Due to this, I was often put together with that ball of flesh that I accidentally kicked the first time while the adults were all talking. Speaking of that ball of flesh…

I hate him.

I mean, at first it was okay. Whenever I was around he always seemed to be sleeping and that was perfectly fine. There was peace and I could eavesdrop on the adults without worry, all was perfect in the world - until the rolling started.

And it was HORRIBLE. 

Considering that the crib we were placed in was AT MOST as wide as two babies squished together (that was the only reason I could see for me to be constantly squeezed with no room for movement what-so-ever), the second he decided to flip over… Well you could imagine. Often I found myself smacked in the face by a meaty arm and crushed under the weight of an infant that just decided that its life goal was to find every possible way to suffocate me. Normally, I would immediately throw off the offending limb and tell them to fuck off, but now I’m just a baby. More importantly, a baby that can’t protect itself in any way, shape, or form without resorting to crying and screaming my lungs out, I couldn’t even roll away. However, even though I was suffering, inside I was still at least a human that has lived for more than a decade and my pride prevented me from calling for help in such a shameful way. Resolving to suck it up and endure through this torture, I swore to take my revenge in the future. Well… what a mistake that had been.

The day had been going well, we were once again visiting and I was once again placed into the crib with the other baby. As the adults moved into another room to continue their conversation, I tilted my head to try to listen in better and all seemed well for a few minutes. Then my fellow occupant suddenly found it to be an optimal time to suddenly turn over and drape himself over me. Problem was, he seemed to have placed his arm in such a way that it just HAPPENED to completely cut off my air. I immediately began panicking. Hastily trying to do everything I could to suck in a breath of air, I started wildly smacking everything I could. The mattress, the bars of the crib, the bastard on top of me, everything that I could reach to alert the adults as to what was happening. I couldn’t even call out with the way the bastard had me suffocating. 

Just as my vision began swimming and I was resigned I was about to die again after just one month of being alive, I was rescued by the warm hands that I could recognise as my dad’s. I gasped as oxygen flooded my lungs and quickly turned into a hacking, gasping, screaming, and crying baby that almost had her soul fly out of her newborn body. Tears and snot ran down my face as my parents murmured comforting words to me and I vowed to myself, NEVER again.

The next time we visited and they tried to put us together again, I immediately made my opinion known by throwing an earth-shattering tantrum. After all, what’s pride in the face of death? Can I eat it?

Thankfully, afterwards my parents just decided to carry me in their arms for the entire duration of their visits. I didn’t have to deal with that bastard of a baby ever again and I got to listen to their conversations from right beside them. A win-win situation, if only I hadn’t had to experience that fiasco while on my way to reach this result.

It was only two more months later that something else major happened. Well, as major as a baby’s life can be at least.

I was officially three months old when I first started crawling.

It completely baffled me. I stared at the fruits of my labor that came from two months of strengthening and moving my muscles every opportunity I had, wondering if this was even supposed to be possible. Even my parents seemed to be in shock the first time they saw me balancing on four shaking limbs. Perhaps this is just another aspect of this world that is different from Before. Stronger, tougher bodies. I wonder what it says about this world that the humans here had to evolve this way to survive…

I mean, I learned to crawl before I even could babble. Like, WTF?

Eh, whatever, I deal with this when the time comes for me to deal with it.

Other things that happened but aren’t as important were discovering how to laugh (yes, I could laugh yet can’t babble, the universe is weird, I’ve never claimed to understand it) and gradually being able to differentiate colors. I can happily tell you that I can now tell red apart from yellow.

As I was busy crossing other baby milestones like my life depended on it, apparently someone else was just as busy as me. Namely, Zach.

Who is he? He’s the only other baby that I’ve come across. Yeah, the my-life-goal-is-to-suffocate-you-to-death baby. I finally learned his name.

I don’t even want to think about that bastard. The only reason I remembered his name was so that I knew which guy to take revenge on in the future. (I still haven’t given that thought up yet, he’s going to pay for what he did.)

While I was struggling to learn how to crawl, he went and learned how to walk! If it was just that, it would have been fine, however, he just HAD to use his new found ability to stick with me everywhere! When I was playing with my blocks on the ground, he would come up beside me and try to drape himself on me. When I was taking a nap in my crib, he would somehow convince our parents to put him with me and flop all over me while I try to sleep. When the adults show even the tiniest intention to separate us, he throws the world's largest hissy fit. It would have been amusing or even cute if I hadn’t been the one he was bothering all the time, but seeing as I was, let’s just say that I never knew I had this much patience before.

I sighed, even just thinking too much about that bastard was giving high blood pressure. You know what? Just to be petty, from now one, he’s just going to be ‘that bastard’ or ‘bastard’ in my mind. Tch, he doesn’t even deserve a name in my book.

“I can hear you brooding. Sleep now, Han.”

I froze. I had forgotten that I was sleeping with my parents tonight, and ever since a month ago my father seems to have developed a sixth sense for when I was too absorbed in my thoughts. Huffing, my only reply to that was rolling over and presenting him a grand view of my back.

He chuckled and simply laid his large hand on top of my head, patting it softly and slowly lulling me to sleep. Having practiced for three months, his pats have gotten a significantly better compared to before and I automatically relaxed at his touch. 

I was asleep before I even knew it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say that I'm a firm believer of the 'The People In One Piece Naturally Have Stronger Bodies' group. I mean, just look at Zoro and Sanji. Zoro can survive being sliced and diced like a frickin onion and Sanji can light his leg on fire and FIGHT with it. Ace can fight with Jimbe for DAYS STRAIGHT and not die from exhaustion.


	4. The Flying Phoenix

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everyone!

It's been one year since I’ve arrived in this world and I can say that I was sufficiently satisfied with the amount of progress I’ve made regarding my developing motor skills. This included but was not limited to learning how to walk, although I would still stumble once in a while and struggle with stairs. In addition, I also learned to talk simple sentences such as “Hello, XXX!” or “Dad, Up!” and used these new found skills to follow my dad everywhere, demanding to be with him every second of the day. My days were filled with nothing but sleep, eating, and playing and even though I had nothing against those activities, if I did the same thing everyday it was bound to become extremely boring. The only thing I could do to pass the time was try to run without tripping on air and doing my best to solve the mystery that was the local language of this world. Naturally as the only source of reference within this household for learning language, my dad was destined to be pestered to the ends of the world by a bored-out-of-her-mind baby.

Why is dad the only source of reference? Well, during this year where I had nothing better to do than to use every waking moment trying to exercise and move my muscles, my mind was left pretty bored and unstimulated. With that, I had a lot of time to kill because trying to reach my toes or evolve from a quadrupedal being to a bipedal one didn’t really need me to be 100% present. I started thinking about a lot of stuff like the meaning of life, or what is time and all that philosophical nonsense… as well as the fact that I’ve never heard mom speak.

5\. Yeah, mom is mute.

I mean, I’ve never heard her voice before and even if she doesn’t talk a lot, who doesn’t speak to their own baby? All of her conversations with father are one sided and she’s always silent. This leads me to think that she’s either mute, or something happened to her that made her like one.

However, even if mom is mute I don’t really care. It’s not as if I’m going to love her any less because of it and it’s not like she’s going to love me any less because of it either, so in the end it doesn’t really matter to me. Just something interesting to know, though I’ve noted that I’ll probably have to learn sign language in this life.

Actions speak louder than words anyway.

Still, getting back on track. My entire mood this year can be summed up to: I was really bored.

It was almost bad enough that I started looking forward to the bastard’s visits.

The day that thought popped into my mind was a dark day indeed.

Though, as the bastard grew up, he actually started becoming slightly more bearable. I think he finally realized that trying to flop himself on top of me like a wet tissue wasn’t exactly earning him any points in my book and resolved himself to cling to me like a koala instead. It was somewhat of an improvement, but just as annoying.

At least there’s less of a risk of death. Maybe.

Speaking of the bastard…

“Han! Han Han Han Han Han Han Ha-”

“Stop! No talk! Go ‘way!”

Please just kill me now.

While trying my best to run away before that thing can latch onto me like a leech, I could see from my peripheral vision my dad was trying his hardest to keep in his laughter in the face of my predicament. That jerk, he knew that I detested the bastard yet is just silently amused by my suffering! The next time he’s changing my diapers, let’s see who’s going to be the one that’s smug you little shi-

Glomp. Tumble.

“Bwahahahahahah! Han Han Han, play!”

Nevermind, he just ruthlessly crushed any and all possible goodwill I had and probably will develop towards him.

Already aware that I was unable to escape now that I was in his grasp, instead of struggling fruitlessly I opted to just flop on the ground and wait for him to become bored. My plan would have worked if this bastard had not decided to imprint himself with me like some animal somewhere along the line when I wasn’t looking. Now, the bastard just chose to take a nap by my side rather than leaving me alone like I had hoped he would. I really wanted to know when I had somehow mysteriously become his teddy bear that he couldn’t live without. 

Shifting my eyes to my dad who currently wore an amused expression on his face, I reached up with the arm that wasn’t currently being used as a pillow and became the personification of a “please-help-me” emoji if there was one. Dad chuckled as he came over to help and I let out a relieved sigh when I felt the bastard’s body unwrap mine. Maybe I’ll forgive him this time for throwing me in the lion’s den and letting me rot there for a while.

A whine was heard behind me. I turned around to see what was happening and was immediately assaulted by a vicious pair of puppy dog eyes. I instantly looked at my dad and chanted in my mind, hoping my intent would come across. Don’t you dare Don’t you dare Don’t you dare Don’t you dare Don’t you d-

Dad sent me a somewhat sheepish but mischievous look before picking up the bastard with his remaining unoccupied arm. Now able to reach me again, the bastard stretched out his arm as fast as lightning and grabbed my hand. Satisfied with that, the bastard closed his eyes, leaned against my dad’s chest and resumed the nap that he was awakened from. When I tried to pull my hand out of his, he just gripped his hand more firmly. How this bastard has enough hand strength to unlock the achievement “Iron Grip”, I have no idea.

I turned my eyes back to my dad. The mercy that I was about to give him? Forget it. 

Walking out of our living room, I was quickly brought out of my plotting of murder when the fact registered that the place we were going to was somewhere I’ve never been before. Could it be that we’re finally going outside?!

Even though I’ve been in this world for a year, I’ve never actually seen what the world outside of our home and a few hallways looked like. I’ve always been stuck indoors and there weren’t any windows that I could see out of. I know for a fact that there’s an outside world because my parents would leave for work sometimes and they would occasionally appear with new toys or clothes but other than that, there was barely anything that I could use to learn about what’s outside of home. 

Well, apparently not anymore because after going up several flights of stairs, dad opened a door and I had to close my eyes and shield my face because of the bright light. When I finally adjusted enough, I peeked my eyes opened and lowered my arm to see-

The sea.

We were on a huge ship that had to have been hundreds of meters long. Many large, white sails were unfurled and fluttered with the wind while men and women alike scurried across the deck. Chatter filled the air while footsteps sounded on the wood floor. People would sometimes stop to say a greeting before leaving to finish their tasks while others would choose to stay and strike up a conversation. The people all looked different, some were blond, some were brunette, some were buff and some were willowy, but they all had something in common and it was the smiles on their faces.

It was so… alive.

My dad had already let me down and warned me to be careful before letting me go off on my own, but I wasn’t really paying attention. Looking at everything with a childlike wonder, for once I acted like my age and quickly ran towards the side of the boat where I had caught a glimpse of-

All the chatter and people around me faded into the background as I stopped just in front of the railing and stared.

It was beautiful. The water was blue with a green tint to it that you could have never experienced Before unless you went to certain parts of earth. It stretched beyond the horizon to places that I couldn’t see and was so clear you can occasionally catch flashes of marine creatures just beneath the waves. The sunshine glittered across the surface of the water like an ocean of the most expensive and rarest jewels the planet had to offer. Words left me as I looked at this scene, it was so indescribably magnificent that nothing would have been able to portray just how amazing it was.

I was brought out of my daze by someone tugging on my hand. I turned to look, realizing that I never let go of the bastard’s hand and had effectively dragged him here with me in my excitement of seeing that splendid view I saw. Quickly relinquishing his hand, I twisted away from him and promptly left him there though I knew he would just continue following me like a duckling.

Hurriedly returning to my dad, I stood to the side to patiently wait until he was done with his conversation with another crew member before tugging on his pants.

Turning away from the other person, dad faced me perplexed, “Hm? What is it Han?”

Looking up at him excitedly, I asked with eagerness I hadn’t felt in a long time, “Dad! What name of home?”

With that, my dad’s confusion turned into understanding and with a hint of pride in his voice he answered with a smile, “Ahhh, yes. Remember this Hannah, this ship is named Flying Phoenix and it will always be our home. When we are here, all walls come down and everyone is family. Whenever we are lost, we will always come back here. The safest place in the world for us, home.”

My eyes lit up in wonder as I tasted the words as they left my mouth, “Flying… Phoenix?”

Dad’s lips curled up into a smile, “Yes, a legendary bird. It’s said to be covered in beautiful, majestic golden flames that keep it alive for all eternity, being killed by the flames yet also being reborn by them and rising from its ashes. Forever and ever this cycle continues.”

At this time, the bastard that had been there silently the entire time chose to contribute to the discussion, “Hurt?”

“Does it hurt?” My dad mused, before smirking and answering with an I-know-something-you-don’t tone, “We don’t know for sure, afterall, it’s just a legend. Right?”

The crew member that had been listening in on the conversation the entire time let out a chuckle at this.

We stayed on deck for a few more minutes before dad decided we had enough excitement for today and brought us back inside the ship. I learned a lot today and I’ll probably have to spend a few days to properly organise my thoughts about all the new information that I had. Though, one thought came into my mind and I grinned.

Flying Phoenix huh? That’s a nice name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who are wondering how she has never known she was on a ship, it's because she's never been on land before. The ship is huge because it has to house a lot of people and supplies and other stuff so it doesn't really rock or sway, and even if it did Hannah can't tell because as far as she's concerned this was how "solid ground" was supposed to feel like cause she had nothing to compare it to. The places she's been to also don't have any windows since the ship is so large that it has multiple layers of rooms and her family and Zach's just happens to live near the center of the ship.


	5. Before and After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though school is picking up, I still managed to finish writing this chapter. Enjoy!

I’ve learned many new things, developed new habits and literally started a new life. However, I’ve also learned that even though technically everything about me changed physically, somethings just never seem to go away. There are some good traits like my brain that just seemed to soak up everything like a spunge and my flexibility that my peers don’t seem to have (though that might be because I still have my baby flexibility). Unfortunately, it seems this rule also applies to some of my worst traits as well, such as my forgetfulness, clumsiness and disorganization.

Well anyways, if someone were to walk into our kitchen right now, they would see the strange scene of a woman in her early twenties staring down a two year old child that was clearly related to her and also clearly trying to act innocent. The countertop was dripping wet and pieces of shattered glass laying hazardously on the floor.

The impromptu staring contest was broken when my mom raised a delicate eyebrow and purposefully glanced around at the wreckage that surrounded us. She did not even need to use sign language for me to be able to understand her.

‘What happened here?’

I laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of my head. The automatic response that slipped out of my lips was, “Sorry?”

The gaze deadpanned.

“Ah,” I laughed again, cold sweat forming on my back, “I wanted water so I climbed to get a cup. When I got the water I tried to go down, but I over extended my arm hit the tap, causing me to let go of the cup and it shattered.”

Mom looked at me intensely for a few more seconds before letting out a sigh. She brought her hand up and using what limited knowledge I had developed in sign language and context, I could piece together what she was trying to say.

‘You make, you help.’

I slumped. Now, even if I look two years old I wasn’t actually two , so I knew when to suck it up and take it like a functioning human should. Without further ado, I headed to the bathroom since that’s where all our towels were stored for some reason and mom was using the only one in the kitchen to wipe the floor.

Our bathroom was a decent size. It had a tub used for showering and a toilet beside it, a sink was built across the toilet with a large cupboard above it. Dragging a stool so that it sat in front of the sink, I climbed on top of it and used my added height to heft myself up to the cupboard that held the towels. The outside of the cupboard doors were mirrors so that you could see yourself when you were doing your daily necessities.

I paused when I was about to open the doors to the cupboard and looked into the mirror. Before, I was a standard Asian kid with straight black hair, dark eyes and pretty much normal Asian features. If you looked at each part of my face individually nothing would have stood out, but when put together I didn’t have a super pretty face yet I knew that it was still above average. Now, when I look at myself I would never have thought that this body and my old one once possessed the same soul. The only thing that my two bodies had in common was probably the pitch black hair but other than that, they were completely different.

Whereas before I had slightly tanned skin from occasionally going on runs, doing PE exercises, or playing with my friends outside, now my skin was a delicate pale color from constantly remaining indoors. My eyes were a beautiful sea blue-green that reminded me exactly like the water of the actual ocean and my hair was a bit wavy instead of just straight. My eye shape, mouth, nose and face was just slightly tweaked so that it made an entirely different, extremely high quality face. Overall, in addition to the fact that I was cuter than any 2 year old has any right to be, my body this time was able to do things considered impossible in my previous life. I thought of a question that has been bothering me for some time now.

I wonder, if I was still in my world, would I still be considered human?

Huffing dejectedly, I quickly shook my head. I shouldn’t be using one world’s standards to compare to another, they’re quite literally worlds apart. What’s right in one world may be wrong here and what’s wrong in one world may be considered normal in another, there’s no reason to be comparing them to each other because they’re completely different things. 

Remembering that mom was still waiting for me to return with a towel, I quickly opened the cupboard and retrieved a towel before hopping onto the ground and swiftly going back to the kitchen.

When I arrived, mom had already started cleaning the glass shards on the floor. Hearing me near, she looked up at me and paused at what she saw. Putting aside her broom, she gently took the towel from me, scooped me up and walked into the living room, sitting down on the couch with me on her lap. She shuffled the cushions around and settled down in a position that was comfortable for both of us. I ended up laying beside her in a den of soft cushions with her arms around me, taking me into a hug.

I sent her a confused look. Weren’t we going to clean up the mess? Why is she doing this?

As if sensing my confusion, all she did was tuck me further into her embrace and start combing through my hair, patting my back and comforting me like you would a baby. Still perplexed, I stayed still to see what she would do and dug myself deeper into her side, surrounding myself with her warmth. We stayed like that for an indefinite amount of time and the longer we were like that the better I felt. I found myself gradually relaxing and realized that I had been somewhat tense and sad after my little existential crisis in the bathroom. 

We continued to stay like that for a while and my eyes were starting to feel a little heavy before my mom finally moved.

Seeing that I was feeling better, she began to rise from the couch and I blinked my sleepy eyes to clear my mind. That was when I remembered that I still needed to clean up the mess I made. Hastily moving to follow her, the second I started sitting up, mom pushed me down again. Looking at her with a confused expression once more, she shot me a stern glare and lifted her hand to sign.

‘Stay here.’

Turning around before I could even question her decision, she left the room to return to the kitchen and I lied down on the couch once again. Twisting around onto my side, I grabbed a stray cushion and flopped onto it, once again returning to my thoughts. Do I even belong to this world? Though I didn’t attach any emotions to the teachings of my old world, it’s still engraved into me. My moral compass hasn’t changed and my thoughts and opinions haven't as well. I don’t think I’ll be able to let go of those since it’s been the way I’ve always been. If I let go of them, would I still be the same person?

Additionally, how would my family and those who I care about react to me? By now, surely they would have already noticed that there was something about me that wasn’t normal. I was too smart, too mature, too observant and quiet. I didn’t have the skill and patience to pretend to be an ordinary baby, so I just didn’t bother even trying. However, was that the right move? Would they no longer love me if I am unable to conform to the social standards here in the future? Before, I was a person with a few close friends and was amiable with everyone else, but what if I would become the awkward, social outcast in this one? I separated myself from the cushion and felt tears gather in my eyes.

Before I was able to spiral further down into that hole, I felt a weight land on top of me. I was so preoccupied with my thoughts that I didn’t even notice mom had come back into the room with a blanket. Sitting beside me, she lifted the covers and shuffled me to the side to once again slide down next to me. Throwing the covers over us again, she brought out a book and began to read while holding me to her chest and combing her fingers through my hair.

I closed my eyes again and just let myself feel the rising and falling of her chest, clenching her shirt in my hands. Gradually, I began to relax again, with the occasional sound of a page turning and her heartbeat in my ear, I fell asleep. 

When I woke up again, mom had already left and sounds of cooking were coming from the kitchen. I got up just when mom walked through the door with spaghetti. 

Seeing that I was awake, mom tilted her head toward the dinner table and I started looking around. I was about to ask where dad was before hearing the front door start to open. Speak of the devil.

Turning around, I ran toward the door before yelling, “Daddy!” and jumping into his arms.

“Han!” Dad exclaimed, catching me without any effort, “Missed you too, my little blossom. What do we have for dinner today?”

Dragging him toward the table, I said, “Spaghetti.” before holding out my arms and demanding to be lifted up onto my highchair.

Dad chuckled before complying and headed towards his own seat. By the time we were all settled, mom had already finished setting up the table. We began to eat.

I twirled my fork in my spaghetti, stuck in my thoughts. In my previous life, I had almost always used chopsticks. Honestly, the only things I could remember myself eating without it are probably dessert or pastries, soup, and fried rice. My friends had all had a look of disbelief on their faces when I told them this and I had gone on a rant about how chopsticks are great. I focused back on my fork. I guess this is just another difference between my life Before and now.

“Han?” 

Looking up, I realized my parents had stopped eating and were looking at me with concern.

“Is there something wrong? Do you not like the food?”

“No! The food is delicious!” I was alarmed and nervous. I actually genuinely appreciate the food here and it was one of the things that I enjoy in this life. As I had an Asian family Before, we would eat lots of eastern dishes with soy sauce, green onion or garlic, rice, etc. I had never really got to experience homemade western dishes and so far it had been really good.

My parents shared a glance before turning back to me. “Then is something bothering you? You know you can tell us anything. We had to call your name three times before you responded.”

I hesitated before deciding to just get it off my chest. I wasn’t the type of person to let something fester before and I’m definitely not one now. At least that hasn’t changed. 

“Do you think I’m strange?”

Now it was my parent's turn to become alarmed. They glanced at each other again and leaned towards me, staring at me intently. I broke eye contact with them and suddenly found the table very interesting.

“Where did you hear that? Who told you that?”

I glanced up and quickly turned away again. Dad’s eyes promised a painful death to the person who had told me that. Though there wasn’t any person for him to murder in the first place since it was just me and my existential crisis. Not like I’m going to tell them that though.

“N-no one.” That was the truth, but the best lies often had a bit of truth in them. “I was going to visit bas-Zach and I passed by a door. There were people inside who said that their children only started talking at one and could only speak full sentences at five, but I can speak well. Does that mean I’m strange?”

My parents relaxed and their gazes softened. Mom got out of her chair and moved to hug me while my dad placed his hand on my head and ruffled it. 

Bending down, my dad looked at me in the eye and said, “My little blossom, growing faster than others doesn’t mean you’re strange, it just means you’re special. In the future, you’re going to meet lots of people who think you’re weird or strange because of it but just ignore them.”

Looking at them timidly, I asked, “So, you don’t think I’m strange?”

My parents smiled at me, “Oh course not, you’re our special little blossom. Even if you were an imp that causes trouble everywhere or born lame, it doesn’t change the fact that you’re our daughter and we will always love you.”

“Always?” 

My parents nodded vigorously, “Always. No matter what.”

I smiled and I could feel hope and love warm my heart. All my anxiety has disappeared and I was reminded one again of how much I was attached to them.

As we were enjoying the moment, dad suddenly spoke again, “Oh, I forgot. Your mom wanted me to give this to you. She said you needed some cheering up earlier.”

I watched as he looked around in his pocket before pulling it out and placing it down in front of me. It was a little box and when I opened it there was an egg tart inside.

I let out a squeal of joy before snatching it up and wasting no time on munching down on it. With my cheeks bulging, I looked up at my parents and asked, “Vhere viv vou geh ih? (Where did you get it?)”

Mom lightly smacked the back of my head while dad let out an amused chuckle. I let out a pathetic whine and just resumed munching on my egg tart before noticing that mom had brought up her hand to sign. 

‘Kitchen.’

I tilted my head in confusion.

She elaborated, ‘Ship’s kitchen.’

Suddenly understanding, I let out an “Ahhhhh” before going back to eating. Dad laughed.

“It’s so good that you can’t even bother replying properly anymore.” He shook his head bemused, “At least now we know how to cheer you up when you’re down in the dumps. Give you an egg tart.”

I watched as they left my side to resume eating and looked down at my own cooling plate of spaghetti. My gaze flicked from the pastry in my hand to the fork resting beside my food and I grinned because in that moment I knew.

It’s going to be alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys, I need a little help. No matter what I do, I just can't seem to get my letters to italicize on AO3 and I don't know why. What do you guys usually do when you want to italicize something (for my fellow writers out there)?


End file.
